Hi *laughs* We’re the Game Grumps Hello! This is Dan and I’m Arin That’s right! Have you ever wanted to see us live? Well, now’s the chance. We announced some shows a while back and there’re still tickets available. Which shows are they, Dan? I don’t know, you have the sheet. Right, I do! *laughs* First, we have December 2nd, at Chicago, in the Chicago Theater! We have tickets available. December 2nd! Second we have – well, next, we have December 17th, Houston, at the Revention Music Theater. Still have tickets available! And December 18th, Austin, the Moody Theater. If you’re in Austin, or Houston, or Chicago, and you are available on those days, that should probably be on the screen, or something We have tickets available! Come on down, it’s a fun show! Here’s the chance – let’s do it! C’mon! Tickets – go in the description, link in the description to get tickets, for the shows. We love you. I hope you come. It’s funny. And that’s Hello Kitty, with a review. On with the show! *Hello Kitty voice* I love you, Arin! Okay. *song* In this corner, a Grump!
Arin: I’m a Grump! In the other corner, another Grump! It’s Game Grumps VS! *cheering* Arin: Welcome back to what could be the most exciting episode –
Dan: Yeah, this is up there!
Arin: …of Game Grumps. Dan: Here we go!
Arin: …that ever – oh they fucked up. Dan: oh, alright, you know what.
Arin: Maybe you should do that more often. Dan: What, make them –
Arin: Pause it on them serving, and then they’re like “What?” Arin: And then it comes back and they’re like “I don’t…”
Dan: They’re not human, Arin. Arin: Well, maybe they are!
(Dan laughs) Dan: Maybe they’re little people inside the Nintendo –
Arin: No, try it! Try it, when you start serving, pause the game. Dan: Maybe I’m on mushrooms. Arin: No, when he like, hits the ball in the air, yeah. And then, it’ll throw him off.
Dan: Okay. Dan: No. This guy’s like fucking steel – it threw US off!
Arin: Aw, fuck. Arin: Nah, it did – well, I’m just going to – yes, but it didn’t, I just suck.
Dan: Okay. Dan: I don’t believe that for one second.
Arin: No? Dan: Whoa! What a dude!
Arin: Got it!
Dan: Look at you. Look at you, savin’ that shit. Dan: Whoa. *whispers* yessss.
Arin: Yeah, I’m so fuckin’ good.
Dan: Diggin’ it out. Dan: Yeahhh, baby!
Arin: Aw, man! *quickly* kiss me. *Both laugh* Dan: No, Arin –
Arin: What? Dan: *lisp voice* Shtay inshide! Arin: *scream of frustration*
Dan: That’s… what happens. Every time.
Arin: No, it’s not true… Dan: We have like, eight instances, for evidence. Arin: *laughing* that’s what happens, every time… Dan: Okay. Okay. Off – alright, doin’ well. Arin: *kissing noises*
Dan: *half laughing* things are looking good! Dan: Just calmly return the serve. Dan: There you go! Arin: It just feels like I’m… gonna miss!
Dan: Nope! It’s perfect. Dan: You’re gettin’ the rhythm now. Arin: *grunts in nervousness over the lob* Arin: NOO! NOO! I’m a failure! Dan: *laughs*
Arin: Nobody loves me.
Dan: It’s okay, it’s okay. Arin: Everybody’s rooting… for somebody else. Dan: *laughs* Including my own parents. Dan: *laughing* Your parents are in the audience with a fuckin’ sign that says “Go A.I.!” Dan: Yeah!
Arin: “We love the pink shirts!”
Dan: Alright. *Arin clears his throat* Dan: We can do this.
Arin: What happened, did you have white shirts and, and –
Dan: No, Arin, please! Arin: and Mister Red Shirt –
Dan: Please come back!
Arin: put his in the laundry, is that what happened? Dan: *worried about the match* Oh god… Arin: Fuckin’ pink shirt…
Dan: *mimicking the game* Boop! Arin: Pink shirt –
Dan: *excited about the win* Yeah! Dan: Alright. That’s one – That’s one to us.
Arin: All thanks to me. Arin: Yut! Dan: This is THE most intense… fuckin’ Game Grumps episode of all time.
Arin: Dude, just like a circus fire. Dan: *disappointed* aw shit. Arin: Dude, that wasn’t me.
Dan: No, it was me. I did that. Arin: I know. I just wanted to remind you.
Dan: Bye! Heh! Arin: Where you goin’, no!
Dan: Yeah, see, isn’t it distressing?
Arin: *laughing* No, I’m scared! *Arin clears his throat* Arin: That was cool, right?
Dan: Yeah, totally.
Arin: Yeah, we did it. Arin: That was all us. *both laughing*
Arin: Aw man…
Dan: “Just needed some exercise!” Dan: Yes!
Arin: Yeah, dude! Arin: Look at us, dingling!
Dan: I love it.
Arin: I wish I could serve every round. Dan: It IS relaxing. Dan: I’m in! Arin: *grunting quietly*
Dan: whoa! Arin: Yeah, fuck off, ya dumb… Arin: …ya dumb dilly. Arin: Ya got ’em, ya got ’em, we got ’em! That’s it! Arin: That’s it!
Dan: Aw, yeah dude!
Arin: Yeah! I could sense it from a mile away. Arin: Dude, I was like fuckin’ – I was like a soothsayer there. Dan: We’re startin’ to feel this shit. Arin: I like serving.
Dan: Yeah…! Arin: It makes me feel empowered.
Dan: These guys GOT served – dude, we’re pullin’ away!
Arin: I know. Dan: If we could just stay focused and not do stupid shit for a while, like *imitates sound of steps* tick tick tick tick tick tick tick. Arin: *laughing* You mean if *I* can stay focused and not do stupid shit! Dan: *mumbles* mm, I dunno. I don’t wanna…
Dan: umm, it doesn’t matter. Arin: Hit it! Arin: Oh shit!
Dan: O-kay, whew! Arin: That was amazing.
Dan: Thank you, brotha. *Arin burps* Dan: Yesss!
Arin: Goddammit, dude! Arin: Do you want a massage, from carrying us?
Dan: *laughs* Arin: *grunts*
Dan: I like the scoreboard! COME, YOU. Arin: Ehh! Arin: Heehh! Dan: Dude… do you remember tabletop… arcade games? Arin: Yeah.
Arin: Cocktail… cabinets?
Dan: Yeahhh! Dan: Like, that’s what this used to be, when I was a little kid.
Arin: I have one. Dan: Really?
Arin: Yeah, it’s “Dig Dug”. Dan: There was a – ah, awesome. There’s a place called “Winston’s”, in New Jersey, it doesn’t exist anymore. Dan: But it was a restaurant and they had this in tabletop form. Dan: And they just, like – all that means is like… Dan: It’s a type of arcade – oh fuck. Dan: A type of arcade cabinet where like, um, it’s like a flat glass table, and the TV is underneath the glass. Dan: And two people – whoa! Two people sit on either side of it, and look down as they play on the controllers.
Arin: Mm hm. Dan: It was kinda awesome. Arin: It’s good for games like “Pacman”.
Dan: Yeah! Arin: It’s sort of like a – you can watch it upside down and it still makes sense.
Dan: Yeah, exactly. Dan: Kinda like… TENNIS! Oh shit. Arin: Not really. Dan: Well –
Arin: Tennis is at an angle.
Dan: Oh crap. Arin: It’d really throw you off if you had, like, the bottom angle.
Dan: Uh oh. Dan: They’re making a comeback.
Arin: No they’re not!
Dan: They’ve cut our lead in half. Arin: No, they’re not! Arin: Look at that! Dan: No, turn around –
Arin: Oh shit.
Dan: Oh, wow! Arin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so don’t fuck around! Aw shit. Dan: *stifles laughter*. Well then.
Arin: Well… Arin: “Hey, do you mind if I join your team, you guys?”
Dan: “Three against one? Is that weird?” Arin: “Dan’s clearly good enough…”
Dan: Ohh… Dan: Yeah!
Arin: Oh, man.
Dan: Dude. Arin: See, isn’t serving the best? Dan: Crushing it with the serves.
Arin: You just, you just kill it when the, with the serves. Dan: Ohhhh, that’s you!
Arin: Survey says…
Dan: Nice. Arin: *whispers* oh fuck yeah. Dan: Yeah!
Arin: Oh my god, my penis!
Dan: Umm… Arin: It’s growing! To enormous sizes.
Dan: Hurray… Arin: Sizes… that could boggle the mind.
Dan: *laughs* Dan: “No penis should be this size!” I like to yell that, every time I take my pants off in front of a lady.
Arin: *grunts in frustration* Arin: *laughing* No penis…
*Dan laughs harder* Dan: …in front of a girl I’ve never been with before.
Arin: “This is unhealthy!” Dan: “Jesus! How do I live like this?”
Arin: “What’s happening??”
*both laugh* Arin: “It’s becoming erect!”
Dan: Oh, my goooood! Arin: What did you do?
Arin: Dan, you always told me… Dan: I pulled “an Arin”.
Arin: You’ve ALWAYS told me –
Dan” I pulled “an Arin”. Arin: Ugh.
Dan: I was thinking about –
Arin: That’s not what they’re called! Dan: Alright.
Arin: That’s not what it’s called, it’s not called “pulling an Arin”.
Dan: Okay… Arin: Look at that! Is that called “pulling an Arin”? ‘Cuz I just pulled it! Dan: “And I’m Arin!”
Arin: *laughing* So… clearly –
Dan: “And we’re the Game Grumps!” Dan: H-okay. Whoa! Arin: “Hey I’m Bump… in the night. Scary games…” Dan: *whispers* yesss.
Arin: How do you like that shit?
Dan: I love it. Arin: How do you like that shit, son of a –
Dan: I LOVE IT! Dan: *whispers* yesss.
Arin: *deep voice* Oh my fucking god! That was incredible. Arin: I’m movin’ around at the speed of light!
Dan: *whispers* Je-sus Christ. Arin: Don”t use the Lord’s name.
Arin: He’s a cool guy, and He doesn’t appreciate it. Arin: He’s like, “What is that?” Dan: *mumbles* I’m… fine… Arin: Ehh!
Arin: Ehh! Dan: Dude, we’re so close!
Arin: Oh my god.
Dan: Dude, we’re knocking it out of the park all of a sudden! Dan: And now you’re serving! Arin: Oh shit!
Dan: Which is totally your chance.
Arin: I LOVE serving. Arin: It’s my favorite thing. Dan: Alright, can you, can – honestly, this is a fun game, right? Arin: Yeah, I’m having a great time!
Dan: Yeah, yeah.
Arin: But I think it’s because it’s with my friend Dan. Dan: That could be, too. Also, I clocked in hundreds of hours playing this alone as a kid. Arin: Gonna dance around the backfield like I just don’t care.
Dan: Okay. Arin: Like I just don’t care. Please don’t stare, ‘cuz I just don’t care.
Dan: Games like this –
Arin: Yesss! Dan: Aw, dude, crushin’ it. Games like this were peaceful, too. That was the other thing I liked about ’em. Arin: There’s no music.
Dan: Yeah, there’s no music, it’s just real quiet. Dan: *excited* Bro! Arin: Yeah. See? When I serve, everything goes according to plan. If they could just let me serve through the whole game, it’s fine. Arin: I’m a fuckin’ master server. Arin: I will upload all of your files –
Dan: Hi. *laughs* What’re you thinkin’ about? Arin: *girlie voice* I’m just thinkin’ about… beating the other opponent. What about you? Dan: *girlie voice* uh… nothing… Dan: *regular voice* Whoops. Arin: Yeah, I got you, bro. Arin: After all this time, we have – we have – all this practice –
Dan: Yeah. Arin: It pays off.
Dan: We got each other. Arin: *whispers* I’m so excited –
Dan: *singing* We got each other!
Arin: I’m so excited, I’m so excited! Dan: Oooup!
Arin: Yeah, I got it, bro. Arin: Yeah, knock it back? Oh, is that going to go over your head?
Dan: It is… Arin: Too bad I FUCKIN’ got it!
*Dan laughs* Arin: SHIT!
*Dan laughs harder*
Arin: Son of a bitch… Dan: Talked way too much shit on that one…
Arin: *makes panting noises mocking the sprite* Dan: Whoops!
Arin: WHOA DUDE!
Dan: Yeah… Dan: Wow, that went right through me. *Arin continues to make mock panting sounds Arin: Oh, we faulted! Dan: Yes. Good –
Arin: “Well, it’s not my fault!” *laughs* Dan: *like a child* NOO-WUH! *the game plays a series of boops when the ball is hit* Arin: I wish tennis balls and rackets actually sounded like this.
Dan: I know, isn’t this pleasant? Arin: *mockingly* BOOP! Arin: Shit!
Dan: Dicks. Arin: Shit dicks!
Dan: Shitty dicks. Arin: *mixing the words* sh-dicks. Dan: Shticks. Arin: Shit-take mushrooms. Dan: Yeah, I’ve always wondered why people more fu- more fu- more of a – whoa! More fun of that! Dan: My brain kinda short circuited there!
Arin: You can’t make fun of ’em, they’re too good! Dan: *making fun* my god… Arin: I’m gonna SHIT! Dan: Whoa dude. Arin: I’m gonna shit all over this court! *makes poop noises*
*both laugh* Dan: “Your Honor, if I may? *makes poop noises*”
*both laugh* Dan: “I’ll allow it.”
*both laugh harder* Arin: “Hmm… corn. I’ll allow it.” Dan: *while laughing* corn!
Arin: Nice! Dan: Nuh – it’s not nice!
Arin: “I’ve always wondered why it doesn’t digest.”
*Dan laughs* Dan: Oh boy. Turn around! Oh my god! Arin: He’s like, shit, he’s like, “Overruled! *makes poop noises*” Arin: How do you like that? *in frustration* AGHHHHHH! Dan: Ho-okay. Well, alright. Arin: Two to five? More like, time to jive! Dan: That is… silly. Arin: I know. Arin: It’s a silly show.
Dan: Whoa! Whoa…. Arin: “Silly Game Grumps”, that’s what they call us. Arin: That’s what Forbes Five –
Dan: Who the fuck calls us that? Arin: The Forbes…
Arin: The Forbes Family. Arin: They’re twinklin’ together.
Dan: Neat. Arin: Aw c’mon, serve that ball! Damn!! Arin: Yoo!
Arin: What did you do?! Dan: I turned around and –
Arin: What did you do? Dan: *as an angry parent* “What did you do?” Arin: Tell me. Dan: *laughing* Give me the secret to your SUCK – cess?
Arin: Ahh! Arin: Got it! Got it! Arin: Yo, I’m a fuckin’ tennis GENIUS.
Dan: I’m gettin’ a little giggly all of a sudden.
Arin: I’m a ten – Dan: Whoa!
Arin: I’m a gen – AGHHH! Fuck! I hit the racket button too soon! Dan: *laughing* Oh boy… Arin: Yo… yo, nice! Oh my god! Arin: OH MY GOD!
Dan: Yay! Dan: Hu-ah! Yeah! Awesome!
Arin: Dude, that was awesome! Arin: Gimme a kiss!
Dan: Thank you – *hit sound* go away. Dan: Noo, get away from me!
Arin: What, what’s wrong? Dan: Oh! …okay, wow. Dan: That was a good hit by him.
Arin: Yeah, it’s ‘cuz I’m bringing it back! Dan: Uh, “by him”, I said, but, you know what? You can bring it back. Whoa! Dan: Nice. Arin: Hoop! HOOP! Dan: Yes!
Arin: Oh, dude!
Dan: Bruh, this is match point! Arin: Clocked it in!
Dan: Match point!
Arin: We gotta touch noses! Dan: Serving for match point!
Arin: Touch nose!
Dan: Get away from me! Arin: Touch my nose!
Dan: Just win! Arin: With your nose!
Dan: Please hit this. Dan: Okay.
Arin: I did it.
Dan: Whoa! Dan: Ah – oh – this is it! Dan: Aw, fuck! Arin: That was it!
Dan: I fuckin’ had it and I whiffed. NO THIS IS IT! Dan: Ohhhh that was not it.
Arin: Agh! *Arin panting* Dan: Is this it? No, THIS is it! Arin: *laughing* My intense need to shit is growing!
Arin: NOOOO! Arin: Noooo….
Dan: “My intense need to shit is GROIN”? Arin: “Is growing”.
Dan: Oh. *laughs* Arin: I really gotta shit!
Arin: I needed to shit, like, five minutes ago. Dan: Just relax! Dan: I mean, don’t relax!
Dan: Don’t relax too much!
*Arin laughs* Arin: I let it out, accidentally.
Dan: Oh, god…
Arin: I gotta twinkle my toes. Arin: Keep my brain occupied.
*Dan laughs* Arin: Ahhhh… Ahhh! Dan: That’s like your worst nightmare: a lob with, like, a thousand hours to think about it.
*Arin laughs* Dan: Okay, yes.
Arin: Yes! Dan: Awesome.
Arin: Dude, we’re so good!
Dan: Okay, here we go. Dan: Here’s the one. Dan: Cha-bam! Arin: I’m bringing it back – OLD SCHOOL!
Dan: Nice! Okay! Arin: Dude, that was right around the corner!
Dan: Match point! Match point! Dan: Here we go, this is it! Arin: Bringing it back… Arin: Old school –
Arin: Whoa! Did we win? Dan: We win! We won!
Arin: We won! Dan: WHEE!
Arin: Gimme that five!
Dan: Danny and Arin win! Arin: Aw fuck, we’re so good!
Dan: Aw, I’m so proud of us! Arin: Damn!
Dan: Next player. Oh shit! Arin: Is it like, a harder player?
Dan: Yeah, fuck yeah! With different colored shirts and everything! Arin: Oh fuck…
Dan: Oh god no, I can’t, I can’t. Arin: Not the white shirts!
Dan: Not the – not Larry White Shirt and… and Barry White Shirt. Dan: Larry and Barry White Shirt. Dan: The White Shirt family –
Arin: Alright, well, next time on Game Grumps, we’ll play another game, it’ll be fun. Come and join us.
Dan: Jesus Christ. Dan: That was fuckin’ nuts!
Dan: So glad we won! Arin: Yeah, me, too. See ya.
Dan: Later, y’all! Dan: Well done, sir.